


It Isn't Easy (But We'll Get There Together)

by Mirecrire



Series: We Crash and We Fall (and We'll Get Back Up) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, Cutting, Depression, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Foreplay, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Condom, Panic Attacks, Pining, Porn With Plot, Puns and Memes, Trigger Warnings, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 00:37:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5891257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirecrire/pseuds/Mirecrire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I hold it true, whate'er befall;<br/>I feel it, when I sorrow most;<br/>'Tis better to have loved and lost<br/>Than never to have loved at all.' </p><p>-Alfred Lord Tennyson</p><p>Or</p><p>Watch as the 2 setters watch their world crumble down...only to pick the pieces back up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Isn't Easy (But We'll Get There Together)

**Author's Note:**

> first of all...
> 
> PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX PEOPLE!!!  
> USE A CONDOM AT ALL TIMES!!!  
> MAKE SURE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE CLEAN!!! (they are both clean in this)
> 
> If you are suffering from depression, please call help!!!  
> Please DO NOT resort to harming yourself as it is very very dangerous!!!  
> Talk to anyone okay??!!!  
> You can talk to me too!!  
> I'm always here to help out a fellow living being!!!  
> (I don't judge)
> 
> THIS HAS BEEN A PSA!!!
> 
>  
> 
> !!!HEADCANONS AND EXTRAS!!!
> 
> Headcanons:  
> -Akaashi is terrible at FPS games but good at button mashing games  
> -Kenma is terrible at button mashing games but good at FPS games  
> -They are gaming buddies!!!  
> -They also go karaoke together sometimes  
> -They are besties like Kuroo and Bokuto  
> -Akaashi would sleepover at Kenma's after Friday practices because it was nearer (and also there are more games to play)  
> -Akaashi is a PC gamer while Kenma is a console gamer  
> -Sometimes they would scroll through Tumblr together to get updated on the latest memes  
> -(They are low-key, secret memers)  
> -(Akaashi is a bigger memer)
> 
> Extras:  
> -The lvl 40 Dragon Nest quest makes an appearance  
> -So do Pokemon ORAS double battles  
> -And Mortal Kombat X, Kitana VS Sub-Zero
> 
> !!!EDIT!!!
> 
> I just switched up a few phrases and words to make it more sensible (because after I reread it once, I realised some parts didn't make much sense). I also managed to fix the italics and bold problems so that is that~!!

Falling in love is never easy. Kenma knew that. Falling in love with your _childhood best friend_ was even worse. That did not stop those feelings from taking over Kenma. Each time he saw Kuroo, he felt like he just ran a mile; sweaty hands, heart beat increasing to impossible levels and he had flip flops in his stomach. Kenma was not very sure about his feelings at first, but with the help of Google and Yahoo! Answers, he found out he had a crush on Kuroo. A really big one at that. Now, Kenma was not one to openly say “I love you”, nor was he one to unintentionally ruin their already perfect friendship. He was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of their relationship and scared of change. He was already content with their current relationship so why should he try and change it into something more? At least, that was what he thought initially. Slowly but surely, Kenma wanted more. He wanted to touch Kuroo, he wanted Kuroo to say “I love you”, he wanted Kuroo to look at him and only at him. He wanted everything their current relationship would not allow. However, in the end, fear won.

 

Akaashi was not one to keep his thoughts to himself. He would openly say anything that comes to his mind with no concern for the other party. One would say that he was rude but it was just him being honest. Which was why it was very unlikely for him to be keeping a secret, a really big secret. He had a crush—wait no that word is not strong enough. He was _in love_ with his best friend, Bokuto. Akaashi had a few crushes before and he knew that he was gay ever since he started checking out boys his age, so it did not come as a surprise to him when he realised. What did come as a surprise was how deep he was in. He had imagined Bokuto doing many things to him, he had imagined them on dates, he had imagined them getting married and the worst of all, he had masturbated to Bokuto before. It was a tragedy in Akaashi’s book. It was then he realised how utterly fucked he was. Akaashi, like Kenma, was not one to ruin their relationship so, he decided to keep quiet as well.

 

The 2 setters had discussed about their dilemma together before. They often shared their close-to-death experience with each other and often ranted about their feelings. It was something they had in common that they were so passionate about. Their conversations were easy as there was nothing to hide. Kenma knows about Akaashi’s dirty fantasies and Akaashi knows about Kenma’s. Nothing was hidden between them. In fact, one would say that they were better friends than with Bokuto or Kuroo, which would be quite a shocker. It was a great opportunity for the 2 parties to release all of their inner turmoil at someone that cared enough to listen intently. If they were not talking about feelings or having a deep conversation, they were reading or playing video games. Akaashi, surprisingly, was as good as a gamer as Kenma. He could easily keep up with Kenma in MonHun and pressed the buttons expertly. While Akaashi attacked, Kenma would support him with healing spells. It was rather ironic how their roles in real life were reversed.

 

Often times, Kenma would have mental breakdowns and Akaashi had to soothe him. On rarer occasions, Kenma would have panic attacks that called for Akaashi’s attention. Akaashi would rub circles on his back, whisper soothing words into his ears and gently tangled his other hand in Kenma’s dyed locks. Only then would Kenma calm down enough to breathe.

 

Of course, that is not to say that Akaashi did not have breakdowns. Sometimes, Akaashi would be unresponsive to the world, as if he was mute. No one really knew how to deal with him at that point, not even Bokuto. Only when the door to Kenma’s home was opened and he was led to the bedroom by the pudding head, would he crumble into a shaking mess of emotions. Kenma would play some of his favourite soothing tunes on his phone and sang along softly, lulling Akaashi into a light slumber. Akaashi would then wake up to the smell of his favourite coffee and Kenma’s soothing music.

 

Most times they had each other’s comfort. Most times they had nothing to worry about. Most times, their world was intact. Most times they were content with everything. Most times.  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


Kuroo and Bokuto were dating.

**_Kuroo and Bokuto were dating._ **

****

The thought had stuck in their minds ever since it was announced. It was during one of their joint practices that the 2 had decided to come out to the teams. Everyone was at least a little shocked at the revelation but congratulated them anyway. However, Kenma and Akaashi’s world had stopped spinning. Everything was frozen. Nothing was right. Everything was crumbling in their hands. “Kenma? You alright?” Yaku had asked and Kenma just nodded absentmindedly. Akaashi exchanged looks with the other setter, pain evident in both of their eyes. “Aren’t you going to give us your blessings Akaashi?” Bokuto’s voice had pulled both of them out of their trance. “You guys aren’t getting married right now,” Akaashi had deadpanned, pulling his poker face. Kenma nodded in agreement. “Don’t be a spoilsport! Hey, how about hanging out together after this? To celebrate us dating, just the 4 of us!” Kuroo slung an arm around Kenma, who had flinched a little. “No thanks,” He said. “I’m too tired for that.” “Plus, if this ‘celebration’ you speak of is just both of you making out while we watch, I would rather go home and be productive.” Akaashi added, skilfully hiding the bite in his voice.

 

The rest of the day passed in a blur for the 2. They recalled missing a lot of serves and tosses and apologizing for all of them. Their teams were definitely worried about them. It was not often that Kenma or Akaashi missed 10 tosses in a row—especially when all of them ended up hitting their best friends in the face. “DO YOU HATE ME OR SOMETHING?!!” Bokuto had yelled after getting hit by the ball again. “I don’t particularly like you,” Lies. “Sorry I’m a bit off today. I’ll take a break.” Akaashi calmly replied, Kenma nodding and following suite.

 

After practice, Akaashi and Kenma headed for Kenma’s home. Their trips together were normally filled with comfortable silence. However, this silence was anything but comfortable. It was heavy. Heavy with questions, heavy with emotion and heavy with pain. “Sorry for the intrusion.” “I’m home.” They had called out but there was no response. On the table sat a scribbled note:

 

 _Dear Kenma,_  
_I went out to get some groceries and will be back shortly. There is fried rice prepared for you (and Keiji-kun/Tetsurou-kun if either of them comes over) in the rice cooker. Just get it when you are hungry!_  
_Love, Mom._

 

Kenma crumpled up the note and lead Akaashi to the bedroom. There was that silence again. Kenma was sitting on his bed, knees to his face while Akaashi laid on it, arms by his side as he stared at the very attractive ceiling. Kenma was quivering, face buried in his knees and arms clamped around his legs tightly. Akaashi sat up and forced Kenma to lift his tear-stained face, pulling him into a hug that shared the same emotions. It was too late now. The people that they loved were dating _each other_. It was like some sick joke. It was like some nightmare that had come true for the 2. But it was evident in the many pictures Kuroo had sent Kenma. Slowly, tears started to fall from Akaashi’s eyes as he squeezed Kenma harder. Kenma was still sobbing into his chest, clinging onto his jersey like it was a lifeline.

 

“Kenma! Guess who I bumped into—Oh my goodness what happened?!” Kenma’s and Akaashi’s mom burst into the room and immediately ran to their sons’ sides. With shaky voices and hitched breaths, they explained from the very beginning, cutting out anything inappropriate. The 2 moms circled their arms around their sons, soothing them and providing the 2 broken setters the comfort they needed.  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


Nothing changed after that. They still went to school and attended practice of course.

Okay, that was a big fat lie. Everything had changed.

 

Kenma was more on guard than ever. He felt vulnerable, he felt scared, he felt as though anything can hurt him, he felt as though he had reverted back into his childhood self. “Kenma-san? Are you okay?” Kenma flinched at the white lion’s voice but nodded nonetheless. At a distance, he could hear Yaku and Kuroo talking about him. “Are you sure he is alright?” “He was fine when we walked to school together and he was fine when we ate lunch together. I don’t know what happened though.” Yaku sighed and ran his hand through his hair, dropping the subject with much hesitance. Kenma let out a breath he did not know he was holding and proceeded to toss more.

 

Akaashi’s situation was as bad as Kenma’s, maybe even worse. During practice, Bokuto was constantly invading his personal space and he tensed up. Bokuto cocked his head in confusion and asked “Akaashi? You okay? You seem really off again.” He leaned closer to his face while Akaashi had to suppress a blush and walked away saying, “I’m fine. One more.” Bokuto’s eyes gleamed at those words and whooped, preparing for another toss. _Concentrate. Don’t think about Bokuto. Don’t think negative thoughts. Don’t—_ He tossed the ball in the air but it was too high for anyone to reach. “Oi Akaashi! That was too off!” “Sorry…again.” He tossed again but it was too low and had hit Bokuto in the shoulder. “Are you SURE you are okay?” The captain asked, looking at Akaashi like he was trying to solve an impossible puzzle. “Sorry, I’ll go wash my face for a bit.” He then headed to the bathroom, head still filled with questions that are impossible to answer.  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“Hey, Koutarou?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you think Kenma and Akaashi had been acting weird?”

 

Bokuto and Kuroo were on one of their many dates and they had somehow came on the topic of their favourite setters. Bokuto nodded in agreement, gulping down his iced tea in one go. “Yeah but like, we can’t get it out of them, y’know? They would never tell us!” Bokuto waved his arms in frustration. Why did people have to be so difficult? Then Kuroo had his shit-eating grin on his face. “Hey, how about stalking them?” Bokuto gaped at his suggestion. “Bro, no! Akaashi will literally KILL me if he finds out!” “Which is why we don’t get found out!” “…I’m listening…”

 

Which led to the 2 of them dressed in a long black coat, glasses and hat despite it being summer. “Bro, I’m sweating buckets in here.” “Deal with it, it’ll be worth the sweat and blood.” They walked extremely stiffly while following the 2 setters. Each time the 2 saw a coffee shop, they would stop and start debating on whether they should go in or not. “Kenma, I need my coffee.” “You drank 2 cups just now. No.” “….point taken.” They trudged onward until they reached a small and obscure shop, hidden away from the bustling city. _A karaoke shop?_ The couple thought and observed them through the window.

 

“Ah, Kenma-kun and Keiji-kun! Back so soon?” The old lady at the front desk greeted them cheerfully. “Hello Hanekko-san,” They greeted in unison. “The usual, right?” She asked, typing on the computer as they nod. “Go on then!” “Thank you…” They entered the familiar karaoke room and set their things aside. At that point, Bokuto and Kuroo entered. “Welcome! How may I help you? I noticed both of you staring through the window just now.” Hanekko tilted her head in wonder. Kuroo coughed and explained the situation to her. “Hmmm…I see. Well I can’t let you guys stay in the hallway to spy on them unfortunately. But I can give you a list of the songs they’ve been singing lately. It is quite a huge jump of the genres from previous months I must say.” She then passed them a logbook filled with different songs. Just looking at the songs, the setters were in a bad condition. “Woah…this is some depressing stuff.” Bokuto nodded in agreement and Hanekko sighed sadly and commented, “They’ve been coming here so often now. The spark from their eyes before was so bright but now it is as dim as the light in the storage room…Oh! I’m sorry for babbling a little,” She giggled as Kuroo returned the logbook. “I hope you found an answer to your questions!” “Yes, thank you!” The 2 said in unison as they left the shop.

 

“Kenma, do you want to go first?” Kenma shrugged and grabbed the remote, searching for a certain song. _Here it is._ The music started playing as the screen showed the song title: Romeo and Cinderella [Mirishira Ver.] With a surprisingly strong voice, Kenma sung the song with all of his heart. With each part of the song, he clenched his chest painfully. The song perfectly described everything he had felt for the past few weeks. The fake words, his wish, the selfishness. Everything in one song. As the song ended, Kenma took a big gulp of water and passed the mic to Akaashi, who had picked the song ‘Aitai’. The song, too, was filled with emotions. The feeling of missing someone he loved, the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of ache and the feeling of want. Everything... The song came to an end quickly and it was Kenma’s turn again. This used to be a weekly thing for them, just letting their feelings out music. Now, it became something that happened every other day. They were breaking down inside. Slowly but surely, they are crumbling. Bit by bit. Until, one day, the pieces can never be picked up again. They know that, of course they do. They know that the sooner they gave up on their captains the better. It did work somewhat. Even though the pain is still there, after releasing their emotions more often combined with the daily sleepovers, they were picking up the pieces as they fell.

 

Bokuto and Kuroo were still racking their brains over their best friends. The setters had been especially cold towards them for weeks now and they just could not figure out the reason why. So, they decided to visit a good friend of theirs: Tsukishima.

 

“What the fuck are you guys doing in front of my house,” Was the first thing Tsukishima said upon opening the door. As he proceeded to close the door on their faces, Bokuto stuck a foot in-between the gap. “WAIT! We need your help!” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at that. “Help?” “It’s about Kenma and Akaashi.” Tsukishima looked like he was thinking until he smirked and replied, “What? You guys still haven’t figured it out? Shrimpy knows and you 2 don’t? Wow.” Bokuto and Kuroo looked at him curiously. Something Shrimpy knew but they did not? What?! “You should probably pay more attention to them. Or observe them or something. Kittens and Owlets can get lonely too.” With that, Tsukishima kicked Bokuto’s foot away and locked the door on them.  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“Kuroo, this is the 3rd time this week. We can’t have this many practice sessions with Fukurodani just because you want to see your boyfriend,” Yaku grunted, hands on his hips. “I told you for the millionth time, this is really not about Koutarou.” Yaku rolled his eyes but said no more, instead he opted to look at where Kuroo was looking: Kenma. Kenma had been better those few days. He did not completely avoid Kuroo anymore nor did he flinch when Tora touched him, which was a good thing. What was not a good thing is the fact that Kuroo had no idea what was happening. Of course the idiot himself would not notice. Heck, _Inuoka and Shrimpy_ noticed. Yaku sighed and ran a hand through his hair. _When will this mental war end?_

 

Meanwhile, Kenma and Akaashi were getting chills down their spine. “…Is it just me or have our captains been intently staring at us for the past hour?” Akaashi whispered, glancing at Bokuto, only for him to pretend he was not staring. “The latter,” Kenma replied, trying to find a towel to wipe his sweat with. “Here,” Akaashi took out a clean towel from his bag and proceeded to help Kenma wipe off his sweat. “I can do this myself you know?” “You are literally a child.” “I am older than you.” “A _child_.” Kenma threw the sweat-soaked towel at Akaashi, who merely dodged it. Kuroo and Bokuto were still staring but immediately looked away when the setters looked at them. “…they are trying so hard I almost feel bad for them,” Konoha commented next to Akaashi. Kenma nodded and took a gulp of water, watching the 2 captains out of the corner of his eyes.

 

As practice came to an end, the coaches gathered the teams together. “Alright, we will be having a 4 day 3 night joint training camp with Karasuno during the holidays. I will give out the forms later. Make sure to free up your holidays alright? Dismissed!” Kenma stared at the letter for a good minute before tugging Akaashi’s sleeve. “Is this their method of being unsuspicious?” “Probably. Not working to be honest.” Kenma sighed and prepared to head back, Akaashi following after him. “Kenma! Want to head back together?” Kuroo called, making his way towards them with Bokuto in tow. “No thanks, go and make out with your boyfriend or something. Bye.” Akaashi bowed and headed off as well. Bokuto whistled, “Wow. Kozume is being really snappy, huh?” Kuroo nodded, sighing and prepared to head back with Bokuto. They had a long night ahead of them after all.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“I win again.” Kenma smirked triumphantly at the ‘You Lose’ on Akaashi’s screen. He groaned and flopped onto the bed, stomach pressing against he cat-printed bed sheets. “You are too good at this game Kenma.” Akaashi had come over to Kenma’s for another sleepover since it was a Friday. “I’ve been playing Pokemon ever since I was a child. What more can you expect? Want to go again?” Akaashi rolled over on his back and nodded, battling Kenma again in a double battle. “You’re lucky with that 20% flinch chance, Akaashi.” Kenma mumbled under his breath as his Tyranitar fainted to Weavile’s Icicle Crash. Akaashi just grinned but it was quickly replaced with a frown as his Samurott died to the Drizzle-Thunder combination from Emolga and Politoed. After a few more turns, the ‘You Lose’ screen returned to Akaashi. “Ugh…” He groaned in defeat again as Kenma pet his hair as some form of comfort. “You’ll win next time.” “…your grin betray your words Kenma.” Akaashi rolled over until he was back on his stomach and leaned towards Kenma’s touch, almost like how a small animal would. _I wonder how we will cope with the joint training camp though… How can I avoid Kuroo for 4 entire days? Shouyou would probably ask me about it again too. Then there’s Karasuno’s scary set—_ “Kenma?” He snapped out of this thoughts at the sound of Akaashi’s voice. Akaashi sat up and petted Kenma instead. With a gentle voice, he said, “Hey…don’t overthink it alright?” Kenma gave a small smile, relaxing with Akaashi’s touch.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“KOUTAROU!!” “TETSUROU!!” The 2 captains greeted each other with a smack of their lips. “Ew, gross. No PDA please,” Akaashi commented and scrunched up his face in disgust. “Ugh…too noisy. Good morning Akaashi,” Kenma said softly, averting his eyes from the scene. “Good morning to you too.” “I’m 97% convinced that they organized this training camp just to screw each other,” Yaku grumbled under his breath, leading the rest of the team away from their embarrassing captain. Once all of them were gathered, the training camp began.

 

“DID YOU SEE THAT AKAASHI?!!! WASN’T I AWESOME!!!”

“Yeah…I guess.”

 

“Kenma-san! Kenma-san! Toss to me more!”

“Yeah…okay.”

 

Hinata and Konoha looked at the 2 setters in wonder. Something was wrong. “How do I say this…” They both started saying and looked at each other in surprise. “So you noticed too huh?” Hinata nodded, tilted his head like he was trying to solve a puzzle. “It’s like Kenma used to be all ‘GUWAAHHH’ and shiny whenever he serves but now….it became less ‘guwahhh’?” Konoha nodded, mentally translating the sentence. “They seem way more distant than usual too. I mean they aren’t social to begin with but it is somehow different, don’t you think?” They both sighed. Then, a sudden thought struck Hinata. With a gasp, he whispered, “Do you think that they may be sad about Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san being together?” Konoha widened his eyes at the sudden revelation. Everything made sense for them at that point. “Fuck,” Konoha cursed and covered his face with a hand. Oh. Boy.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“Has anyone seen Kenma/Akaashi?” The captains asked but everyone shook their heads. “Maybe they are still changing?” Konoha said, though sounding unsure himself. Bokuto shook his head, “We searched those areas already but they weren’t there.” “MAYBE THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY?!” There it was. The thought that everyone was afraid of voicing. Almost immediately, both teams split up to search for their previous setters.

 

“Kozume-san! Akaashi!” Konoha shouted for them and while he was distracted, he bumped into Tsukishima and Hinata. “Konoha-san? What are you doing here?” Hinata asked. “Kozume-san and Akaashi suddenly disappeared so we are looking for them.” “If you’re talking about that one black-haired setter and pudding head, last I saw them they were talking under that huge tree.” Tsukishima supplied, letting his smirk show. Konoha lit up at that and thanked them before running off.

 

“Kozume-san! Akaashi! There you guys—” Konoha stopped at the sight. The 2 were leaning against the tree, shoulders touching and looking extremely relaxed. Kenma’s head was resting on Akaashi’s shoulder while he had his head on Kenma’s head. _Holy shit. This is so adorable. Should I wake them up?_ Hesitantly, Konoha shook Akaashi and Kenma’s shoulder. “Kozume-san, Akaashi. You guys need to wake up. Everyone is looking for you 2.” With a groan and some stirring, both of their eyes opened. Kenma turned on his phone to look at the time, eyes squinting at the bright screen.

 

**10:47 PM**

 

“No,” Kenma groaned, flopping his head onto Akaashi’s lap.

“Kenma, don’t do it.”

“Too late. I’m going back to sleep. Goodnight.”

“Oh my god. Kenma no.”

“Kenma yes.”

 

Kenma laid still at that point, shutting his eyes as he breathed in the familiar and strong scent of black coffee. Nice to smell, disgusting to taste. With a yawn, Akaashi lifted Kenma bridal style and proceeded to walk back to the classrooms, Konoha following behind confused.

 

Using his leg, Akaashi kicked open the door to Nekoma’s room. “Late night delivery service. I have come to deliver this housecat to Kuroo Tetsurou and Yaku Morisuke. Hope you have a great night.” He let Kenma drop on the prepared futon and immediately walked away before he could swipe at him. “I’m never inviting you over again.” “Oh what a…CAT-astrophe.” He closed the door before Kenma could fling the pillow at him.

 

“Ohoho?”

“Ohohohoooo?”

 

Kuroo’s voice came but so did another’s. Kenma turned his head abruptly, only to see Kuroo leaning against a table that had Bokuto under it, effectively shielding the owl from anyone’s sight. Kenma was not going to deal with this. After a few taps on his phone, he slid into the covers of the futon and tried to sleep over the noises.

 

A few minutes later, Konoha and Akaashi came bursting through the door. “Thanks for the tip, Kenma,” Akaashi whispered and Kenma replied with a hum. “BETRAYALLLLLLLLL!!” The cries of a dying owl resonated through the night as it was dragged away by 2 lesser demons.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“Okay but like, remember that one time that Koutarou serenaded me?”

“No.”

“He pulled out an entire bouquet of black and red roses after that! He said that the black reminded him of me.”

“You do know that black in flower language means death right?”

“AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?!”

 

Kenma groaned and quietly nibbled on his piece of watermelon, already tired just from listening to Kuroo talk about how good his boyfriend is. Kenma does not get it. Well, he does not get his feelings. The feeling of disgust and uncomfortableness pooled in his stomach, making him feel more nauseous than he should be on land. _Will you please shut up already?_ He found himself thinking. The emotion that can only be named as envy was familiar to Kenma. He had felt that ruthless emotion countless times over the past weeks and had gotten used to it, though that was not necessarily a good thing. However, at that point, Kenma was tired, restless and probably starting to have a panic attack. He spotted Akaashi from the corner of his eyes, watching him but hesitant on interfering. Kenma flickered his eyes over to Kuroo before going back to Akaashi to send help signals. “Kenma? You okay?” Kuroo asked, stopping in the middle of his boyfriend rant. “Yeah. Just a little tired. I’ll go ahead and take a nap or something.” Kenma stood up and tried to hide the sway in his movements.

 

“Hey Akaashi! Are you listening?!”

“No.”

“Okay but anyway, Tetsurou brought me to some really fancy restaurant after we dated for one week and I was super impressed because it was super fancy! Like, 5 star fancy!! Can you believe that Akaashi?!”

“I can’t believe he isn’t broke yet.”

 

 _Not now feelings. Not now._ Akaashi stubbornly pushed down the sick feeling for the sake of not worrying the others. Akaashi aimlessly looked around for some distraction when his eyes landed on Kenma, who was fidgeting as Kuroo bragged. For a moment, Kenma’s eyes flickered to Kuroo then back to him.

  
_Help me._

 _  
_ Akaashi’s patience had decreased dramatically, the aura around him darkening and even Bokuto could sense the change in mood. “Uh…Akaashi?” Said captain asked, trying to hide the shaky tone of his voice. Akaashi just glanced apologetically at him for no more than a second before stalking towards the direction that Kenma went.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


_ Breathe Kenma… Breathe… _

** Kuroo doesn’t love you **

_ Breathe… _

** Kuroo isn’t yours anymore… **

_ Breathe…breathe…no…no no no… _

** Kuroo abandoned you **

_ Not true…not true…false…false… _

** You’re pathetic **

_ I’m not…I’m not…I’m not… _

** Akaashi will abandon you **

_ No…no…no…he won’t…he…he…he won’t _

** Akaashi is not by your side. He— **

“Kenma? Hey.” Kenma shakily looked up from his curled up position, only to see Akaashi’s worried face staring right back at him. He tried saying something, anything but only a broken sobbed came out. With shaky hands, Kenma clung onto the taller setter’s shirt, burying his face into the crook of his neck. “Hey…I’m here. I’m here,” Akaashi soothingly whispered while rubbing large circles on the smaller one’s back. This cycle continued for some time, Akaashi whispering reassuring words while rubbing circles and Kenma crying freely.

 

_Akaashi. Akaashi. Akaashi. Akaashi. Akaashi…_

Slowly, Kenma’s breathing turned back to normal and his heartbeat slowed. Akaashi pulled away, tangling his hand into Kenma’s hair. “You good?” Kenma nodded mutely, nuzzling Akaashi’s neck. A low rumbling filled the short silence. “Kenma—” “Don’t start.” Akaashi chuckled, holding the purring setter closer. _Ah, there I go again…_ Kenma smiled at the familiar feeling blooming in his chest. It would probably end the same way. Just like before, his love would probably end up unrequited. Akaashi would get a boyfriend and he would be happy…while Kenma would be alone again. He was about to cry another sea of tears again when Akaashi spoke.

 

“…never gonna give you up. Never gonna—“

Kenma shoved him off.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


Kenma groaned for the 7th time that day. It was a day right after the training camp had ended and Akaashi was sleeping over at Kenma’s. “You win. Again.” Kenma glared at the ‘Fatality’ on his screen. “You’re definitely better at FPS games, Kenma,” Akaashi smirked and started up another round. “I’ll get better.” “You will. Once you manage to get a hang of the controls.” They were sprawled out on the bed, laying on their stomachs with a fan blowing next to each of them to keep them (as well as the laptops) cool. Kenma’s long bangs were tied up and them pinned to the top of his head with a cat clip that Akaashi had so gracefully gave, wearing a light blue tank top and dark blue pants. Akaashi kept his hair up with a headband with fake feathers stuck on the sides. He was wearing a short-sleeved maroon hoodie over a white tank top and army shorts.

 

Kenma’s face scrunched up slightly as Kitana took continuous amounts of damage from Sub-Zero. _That’s kind of cute._ Akaashi found himself thinking. _Wait, what?_ Did he just think Kenma was cute? Sure he was cute to begin with and despite acting extremely cold, Kenma was, in reality, one of the warmest people he had met. Those cat-like eyes and cat-like behaviour just screamed ‘kitten’ and he honestly wondered why Kuroo never fell for him. His thoughts went back to Bokuto. Bokuto was hot. Really hot. His personality was not that bad. Then he thought about Bokuto dating Kuroo and he found that his heart no longer ached. He thought about Kenma dating someone else. It was impossible. No. It was infuriating to even think about. _Oh. **Oh.** _ In a matter of seconds, Kenma had done his fatality with Kitana. “You were distracted.”

  
**Fatality**  
  


“Yeah, I was.”

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


“Dude. WHAT?!” …was the response Akaashi got when he told Konoha. “I-I thought you liked Captain?” “I did. I guess I kind of got over it?” “Dude. This is big. And on Kozume-san?” Akaashi nodded, sighing again and took a sip of his coffee. They were seated outside of his favourite café, drinking his favourite coffee as they talked. “This is like great news!” Konoha pat Akaashi on the back, grinning like he was the one that got over his crush. “Yeah I know but I just don’t know if Kenma even got over Kuroo already.” Konoha looked thoughtful before saying, “You don’t want a repeat of what happened right? So you’ve got to say it!” Akaashi nodded, knowing that it must be done and he will do it. Maybe. Someday. Maybe when he got the guts but it will happen. He hopes.

  


**0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0~~~0**  
  


_Fuck._ There is was again. The pain, the anger and the not so obvious heartache. The tapping of the keyboard slowed down considerably as time kept ticking. _Not now. Not when Kenma is here. Not now._ Akaashi put down his headphones before saying, “I’m heading to the toilet. Just do the quest without me.” Kenma nodded and left the party before continuing his quest to obtain the Dragon Cultist Symbol from Ruined Village.

 

Akaashi scrambled to the mirror cupboard after closing the toilet door. When he found what he was looking for, he immediately put it to use. With tears threatening to fall, he lifted the sleeve of his right hand and slashed his wrist with the pair of scissors, watching the bright red blood drip into the sink. “Akaashi?” At the sound of his name, he immediately whipped around and pulled down the sleeve again, but it was too late. Kenma had seen everything. Without a word, the Nekoma setter put the toilet seat down and made Akaashi sit on it. Akaashi was shaking ever so slightly, the tears finally falling. _I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry._ Kenma carefully examined and cleaned the wound before wrapping a bandage around it. After he made sure the bandage would not come off, he led Akaashi to the room and sat him back down on the bed, moving the table that had their laptops away. He was still shaking but managed to stop crying. He could not bring himself to look at the other in the eye. He felt as though he had disappointed him greatly. But of course, Kenma could never think that way. Kenma lifted himself up until he was practically sitting on his lap and hugged him tightly. Akaashi hiccupped and kept crying into Kenma’s shoulder, pouring all of his pent up emotions out. Part of him felt bad for dumping everything on Kenma but what else could he do? Kenma silently stroked his hair, humming a song he knew too well. Slowly but surely, Akaashi calmed down and he shifted away from the other slightly. “Hey,” Kenma smiled softly. “Hey.” Akaashi nuzzled into Kenma’s neck, breathing in the smell of…well, Kenma. “…love you.” Akaashi froze. _Shit._ Did that really come out of his own mouth? Just as Akaashi was about to lift Kenma off and run out the door in pure humiliation, Kenma lunged at him and they fell back on the bed.

 

“Stupid stupid stupid stupid!”

“?!”

 

Kenma lifted his head up slightly to show his bright red face. “Um…uh…like…same,” Kenma said, trying to look Akaashi in the eyes to show that he was serious. Akaashi froze at that. Then, the widest grin formed on his face and he leaned in to kiss the shorter setter. The kiss was sweet, short and definitely inexperienced. Their teeth clanked together uncomfortably and it was very sloppy…but everything was perfect. All of the emotion they had buried deep inside of them was released through that kiss…and the next and the next.

 

Akaashi had only seen it in the websites and manga he looks up but he was going to try anyway. Shyly, he poked out his tongue and licked Kenma’s lips, startling him. “Sorry. Too much?” Kenma shook his head and they resumed. Akaashi stuck his tongue out again and started to explore Kenma’s mouth. Kenma moaned into the kiss, hands automatically looping around Akaashi’s neck as he moved to straddle him. Kenma grinded his hips into Akaashi’s eliciting a loud moan from the both of them. Akaashi flipped them over until he was on top of the blonde and went under his shirt, feeling each and every part of his body.

 

Akaashi lifted the shirt high enough to see the pink nipples and squeezed it experimentally. Kenma moaned at the touch and subconsciously rubbed his legs together, something he did often when he felt needy. Akaashi leaned down and latched his lips onto the pink nub, sucking and licking it while squeezing the other. Kenma covered his mouth to muffle the moan. Akaashi lifted his head up and gave Kenma butterfly kisses down his throat. Akaashi reached down to palm Kenma’s hard cock through his shorts. Kenma moaned loudly, subconsciously shifting up to grind into his hand.

 

“A-Akaashi…please…” Kenma moaned again, trying to tug his shorts down. Akaashi chuckled and pulled everything off, letting Kenma’s cock spring free. Akaashi got off Kenma for a second to pull off all of his clothes before getting back on him again. They shared another heated kiss when Kenma suddenly flipped them over until he was on top. Kenma shifted until his face was near Akaashi’s cock and licked a long strip down it. Akaashi moaned and tangled his hands into Kenma’s hair once more. Kenma kissed the tip before he took it into his hot mouth. Kenma bobbed his head up and down, careful to not use his teeth and gave little kisses here and there. Kenma looked up to see Akaashi’s reaction and was greeted with an extremely red owl. Akaashi’s grip on his hair tightened and he managed to choke out, “K-Kenma I’m close—” With a loud moan, Akaashi came all over Kenma’s face. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” He said as he took a large amount of tissues to wipe his face clean. “It’s fine. It’s fine.” Kenma reassured and kissed him softly.

 

Akaashi nervously played with his fingers and said, “Do you still want this? I can stop you know?” Kenma quickly nodded his head, nuzzling Akaashi’s stomach. Akaashi was taken aback for a moment but flipped them over until he was towering over the smaller teen. He grabbed the lube he hid in the drawer and placed it beside him before kissing Kenma feverishly. “You ready?” Kenma nodded, spreading his legs wider and wrapped his arms around his neck. Akaashi poured the lube onto 2 of his fingers and pressed one finger slowly into Kenma’s hole. Kenma moaned immediately and clung to Akaashi even more. To ease the pain a little, Akaashi kissed Kenma as he forced his finger to go deeper. He started thrusting into him, making him moan as they kissed. Then, Akaashi inserted another finger, causing Kenma to gasp loudly and tear up. “Kenma? You okay?” Akaashi asked worriedly, halting his movements. Kenma replied with another kiss to his swollen lips. Akaashi smiled into the kiss and proceeded with his movements.

 

He hooked his fingers and continued thrusting into Kenma’s hole, making him moan louder than usual. This continued for a few seconds before he hit a particular spot, making Kenma moan really loudly. Akaashi smirked and repeatedly hit the spot, making Kenma cling to him and moan repeatedly. “Akaashi…I-I think I’m ready.” “Okay.” Kenma gasped when Akaashi pulled his fingers out, leaving him with an empty feeling. Akaashi was about to tear the wrapper off when Kenma stopped him. “I…I don’t want that.” Akaashi widened his eyes but stopped nonetheless, instead pouring lube all over his cock.

 

Akaashi lined up with Kenma’s hole and kissed him. “This might hurt a bit, okay?” Kenma nodded. Slowly, Akaashi pushed his cock in and kissed Kenma to help with the pain again. “So…tight…!” Akaashi moaned and kept pushing in, kissing away the tears that formed at Kenma’s eyes. When he finally got his whole cock in, he asked, “How do you feel?” “Full…So full…” Akaashi smiled, “I’m going to move okay? Tell me what you want.” “Go slow first.” Akaashi nodded and thrusted into him slowly, desperately trying to keep his control on a leash. Kenma moaned, his nails digging into his back. He needed more stimulation. “G-go fast…please!” Akaashi did, picking up speed as he repeatedly thrusted into him and hit the spot again. “AH! THERE!” Kenma moaned loudly as Akaashi fucked his prostate repeatedly.

 

“ _K-Keiji_ …Ahhh…” That did it for him. Akaashi felt all of his self-control slip away as Kenma chanted his first name into his ear. Akaashi used all of his strength to pound into his prostate hard. “Keiji, I’m going to cum!” All Akaashi could manage out was a low groan. Kenma gave another loud moan as he came, spurting large amounts of cum onto his stomach. Akaashi kept thrusting into him and before long, he was coming inside of Kenma.

 

There was a silence after that, both of them panting and red faced. After a while, Akaashi finally pulled out of Kenma and found a towel to clean them both up. Kenma stood up shakily and wrapped his arms around Akaashi’s waist. “Um…so we’re a thing now…right?” Kenma shyly asked, avoiding all eye contact. The taller just chuckled, hugging him back, “You’re asking right after all of that?” “Shut up.” “Yeah. Yeah we are.” They savoured that moment before separating to put on some clothes. Kenma shakily put on his pants, ass still hurting from the previous activity. “Hey, you sure you’re okay?” Akaashi asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Uh…I might need some help. Actually, screw the pants.” Kenma dumped the pants to the side and went under the covers, patting the empty space next to him. Akaashi gave him a lopsided grin and joined him, pulling his precious _boyfriend_ close to him.

 

“I love you,”

Akaashi whispered, pressing a kiss to Kenma’s forehead.

“…I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thANK YOUUUUU FOR READING!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> I might make a sequel to this? If I have a lot of free time that is~ ヽ(´ω｀○)ﾉ.+ﾟ*｡:ﾟ+  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> As you can see, I'm a total nerd. I CAN'T HELP BUT STUFF A FEW PUNS AND MEMES IN THERE OKAY!!!!  
> I  
> I just
> 
> O ye I don't play Mortal Kombat X nor have I reached level 40 on Dragon Nest yet (can't blame me. It's so laggy on my laptop) (I have like so many other games I don't play but have no heart to delete) so idk if that's how the mechanics work bUT I HAVE WATCHED VIDEOS!!! (ノ・∀・)ノ (ノ・∀・)ノ
> 
> (Also, as you could probably tell, I play too much Pokemon for my own good (￣ω￣;) ) (The good old days of destroying my friends in double battles.)
> 
> !!!EDIT!!!
> 
> HEY HEY HEY!!! The [sequel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6116356) and the [smutty sequel sequel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6160216) are up~ I've put them in the series so go take a look for BoKuro being idiots, Yaku and Konoha being absolutely done (with a side of Lev) and AkaKen getting their sweet, sweet revenge~!!! (and porn ;)))))) )
> 
>  
> 
> [Talk to me on Tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mirandatherium)


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